Welcooooooome!
Welcome to a place where you’ll see things you’ve never seen before! (and if you have, please close that page right now)
I and my other selves hope you’ll learn a few things, that some of then will make you smile a little, or even laugh, why not burst into helpless laughter that’ll lead to death (hey, that’s better than in a plane crash, right?). Just please, don’t cry. That’s not cool, uncalled for, it really sucks. If you do, don’t tell me. As a matter of fact, don’t tell anyone. At all. No one. Can. Know.
And if in any cases you think I’ve made a mistake somewhere or I should add something, or if you’d like me to talk about a specific subject, don’t hesitate to ask! I’m sure one of me will be willing to help.
That being said (or written, but you aren’t the nitpicking type, right? RIGHT?!), get the hell out of here and start reading one of my articles! Think you’re gonna learn things by reading that load of crap?
Seriously…
Hm, actually, maybe you could, depending on where you’re from. Are you even an English speaker? No? If you ask me, you don’t need to be, I’ve put a lot of photographs, so at least you can see some cool stuff while sipping your disgusting beer (come on, get some whisky at least, be a real man, you sissy) and getting an uglier belly than the one you’re painfully carrying right now.
Did you know that the French actually do take showers? Shocking, right? I was too, so don’t feel ashamed.
The theory of the “big bang” is total bullshit but shhhh, don’t tell the others you got it from me. I don’t want people to think I’m pretending to be smart. That’s our secret, OK? Cool :)
As for 42, I can’t reveal anything. But the time will come. You just aren’t ready. All of you.
Are you still reading? You really have time to spare… Let me guess, you’re at work. If I were you, I’d give a look right above my shoulder! Too late. You had it coming… (and I warned you, you little ungrateful turd)
Working out is not only good for health, but it’ll grant you a pretty amazing shape. It’ll also refill your bank account, enlarge whatever you want to be enlarged, clean your bedroom, walk your pet, make your breakfast coffee, and bring you an incredible fortune. I’m not sure about all of them, but I think it’s worth the try. Please let us know about the results.
Each time someone buys an Apple product, the devil gets closer to resurrection. Although it seems buying a second-hand one is safe (all the researchers have mysteriously disappeared, so we don’t know for sure). Now that’s up to you.
Alea jacta est. But that, that was before.